Rupert the Actor

So I used to dabble in acting! Here’s a selection of my previous roles:

Nightmare of the Clown  (2008)


When I thought about acting, I’d never have guessed my first role would be running away from a psychotic killer clown, whilst in complete and utter darkness. With the added bonus of my leg getting partially sawn off, it was quite the experience!

My role was ‘Rich,’ an urban explorer, who joined forces with a girl to break into a mysterious clown house. The only trouble was, we both sounded so upper class it seemed a little unbelievable we’d cause criminal damage, and we’d more likely be suited to an evening perusing the local Waitrose. We were given a prop bottle of vodka to help us seem more mischievous and youthful.
Our characters stumbled across the clown. Sadly, Susie, my fellow urban adventurer, met her gory end after attempting to hide. Badly.
Luckily, my character was a lot more agile and cunning, and managed to escape. Well, almost in one piece. Staggering into the kitchen, the killer clown grabbed my leg from the other side of a cat flap, and in the next sequence he attempted to saw this leg off with a plastic dummy machete. I won’t reveal if I survived, but it was a surreal experience and I can reveal that my scared face acting has a lot to be desired

I also had to help blow up 120 red balloons for one scene which involved my character escaping the clown’s clutches in a fun-filled bedroom of terror. I ran out of oxygen halfway through inflation

Evil Eye (2008)

The next film I did with Robsters Entertainment, Evil Eye, was a lot more atmospheric with no dialogue. I had to use facial expressions and body language throughout. It was partly based on a true story (the director unfortunately had got bit during a kiss that went wrong.) The tale followed my character meeting a very mysterious lady in the park. Sadly for me, she wanted to lure me to my death. Which is an improvement over my usual romantic life.

Prior to filming, I had stupidly said ‘take it all off’ at my local hairdressers, the bizarrely title Sweeney Hoggs. The place was run by the most depressing hairdresser in history, where I often felt like I needed therapy after getting the usual short back and sides. After my innocent request, he promptly shaved off all my hair and I resembled an egg.

Fearing ridicule, I wore a top hat for the film to hide my white dome. My hair, however, had other ideas and began to grow in between the filming weeks. The director had bought a bald cap to hide my growing follicles, but sadly it was a lot more yellow coloured than expected. We tried to make it more skin toned, so we sprinkled some talcum powder on top of said bald cap. It wasn’t quite right. We spent about an hour rolling on the floor laughing before we could start the next scene.

The first actress wasn’t entirely what the director had in mind. With pizza stains on her shirt and too many demands for cigarettes, we could see she wasn’t the perfect fit for a femme fatale character. Luckily, another actress stepped up and we shot a lot of footage.

The film was quite fun to make, I got stabbed through the heart, took part in a fake kissing scene and had to make myself cry. There was an idea to bring some sliced onions with us but luckily I managed to get in touch with my emotional side for the big finale!
Revelations 13:18 (2009)

This film’s plot was even more colourful than the previous. I played Stanley, who was haunted by the number 13. He makes 12 films, and during the production of the 13th, he evoked the power of the devil. His friend died, the production went to pot and he began to have sinister nightmares of said deceased friend. All in all, it wasn’t a great experience for him, and his dreams were so frightening that he began to seek assurance from his local priest.


Stanley went to meet Father Michaels in church, which involved my character barging in mid prayer to tell him to read the bible! We also got to work a German soap star actress, who braved very sinister makeup to scare the bejeezus out of viewers. To this day, the above scene still freaks me out!

Richard Steel (2009)

This is where the fun truly began. I played both the roles of Rufus Spout (the geek I was born to play) and Richard Steel (the cool guy he wishes to be.)
Annoyed with someone else always taking the girl, Rufus changed his name to Richard Steel, and became the coolest man on the planet.

We completed 14 takes of the infamous Tennis court chase scene. It was a laugh riot throughout filming, and Rufus quickly become a breakout star. Dorky, nerdy and all sorts of awkward, he quickly became a fan favorite and a sequel was quickly in the works.

Bournemouth Blackout (2010)

This film was based on the blackout of the 2005. I played another haunted individual whose girlfriend only comes out when the lights are off….

I’m not sure 100% what the plot was about but it was quite a funny film to make.

Mystical Coast (2010)

We made this during the 2010 World Cup. We had more success than England though, and filmed a castaway mystery story near the Purbecks. I played Captain Lucas Davenport, who meets a very angry island inhabitant with a sinister secret of his own.

The film involved a mysterious wooden chest, and passers by presumed we’d actually found some buried treasure!

Richard Steel 2 (2011)

Rufus returns. Filmed in Bournemouth across two years, the development of this one was quite complex. However, it quickly become the most scary of the trilogy and had the most shocking ending of any of my films to date.

Richard Steel 3 (2012)

Despite the ending of part 2, we felt Rufus deserved a great sendoff, and the concluding part of the trilogy I would say is the very best film I’ve starred in.
It was also my first film shot in HD! Look out for a new character I played, the formidable Mother Spout…

Haunted (2013)

My last film was made in Ipswich. Made in less than a day, this chilling tale involved my character moving into a spooky new house. I learnt many things

  1. Phone acting is almost impossible. Pretending to talk to someone on the other end just doesn’t quite work.
  2. Don’t run a bath when a ghost is on the loose.

Other topics:
Trump | Jobs | Teenager | Urbexing | Valentines | First Girlfriend | Catfish | The Incident | Paris | Nan | The Bedroom Embarrassment | Living with students | Getting Evicted| Long Distance Love | Depression | Bournemouth | Money


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